I am quite bummed to admit that I mostly spend my 23 inside my mind. Having conversations with myself. Building up scenarios that end up not happening. Those two are actually my highlights as a 23-year-old.
Isolating myself inside those fantasies made me learn that I need to get out — literally. So, I gather myself to be more open: say yes to more opportunities, conversations, and meet-ups.
Through being more open, here are 23 things I learn last year:
- Hard conversations are not necessary when you’re facing immature people. And by immature, 40-year-olds are included.
- Heads up are something that I truly appreciate. Whether it’s from a coworker telling me there will be incoming tasks next week or a friend hinting about a conversation they want to revisit that requires me to sit down.
- Writing techniques, behavior, and methods are personal. There’s no one size fits all. Try everything to know your thing.
- Although I love writing, I learn that writing as others is exhausting. Playing dress-up screwed up my sense of self.
- Processing myself is also exhausting. Recalling energizing days and reliving draining days just to write a journal takes a lot of energy.
- But I need that: processing self.
- Being an aunt is strangely fulfilling. This is a new role I get to have and turns out I grow to love it. Seeing my niece achieving small milestones is amazing. Learning that she recognizes my face and my voice is gratifying.
- Love is extensive. It shouldn’t be held back. Saying “I love you” to friends is influential. Sending them signs that you acknowledge them is important.
- Writing letters help me determine the amount of feelings I have towards people. The longer the paragraphs, the more intense the feelings are.
- Picking up out-of-context calls from friends feels like finding words of affirmation posted while scrolling Instagram. It’s surprising yet soothing.
- The relationships made through online platforms are as real as the ones made through shaking literal hands. I find it less awkward when I present myself online. It feels less intimidating without the eyes.
- Saying yes to meet-ups made my day — or week. I meet friends I haven’t seen in years. I finally converse offline with my online fellas.
- Though I have grown out a number of things, Taylor Swift is not one of them [yes, I put this on number thirteen intentionally].
- I prefer people who know what they want.
- And able to communicate it.
- Sending content to your friends' DM is a way to maintain friendships. I’m thankful for my friends on TikTok who send me videos every day even when I only open TikTok on weekends.
- I’m the friend who “reaches out”. I rarely get reached out. Yet, it’s always nice when I reach out and the conversation continues for some days.
- My gut instinct is top-notch. Met a number of new people this year and my gut instinct sensed something suspicious about them. Months later, the instinct is proven. Had recurring nightmares about some friends, reached out some days after and they say “I’m not really in the best condition.”
- Accountability buddies help me a lot. Been waking up early for a morning walk with a friend. Having a monthly check-in with other writers reminds me of my personal projects. Setting collective goals for further studies increase the motivation.
- People need to stop shaming the slide into DMs gesture. I had nice conversations with a bunch of people through the DMs, especially when they share content that resonates with me. If they share something about Taylor Swift, Sally Rooney, or Button Poetry, I’d definitely react to their story.
- As much as I want to deny it, I have a type. And my mom noticed this.
- Somehow I enjoy teaching. Seeing engaging participants in the webinars I conducted, restores my faith in education. People are willing to learn. Some of them even send a message through my DMs, expressing how much they enjoy the session.
- I want to stop living inside my fantasy. It’s time for me to make things real.
Today marks the day I become a 24 years old woman. I’m no longer that “she’s still 23 inside her fantasy” from ‘right where you left me’. I’m going to wake up from those fantasies and live. Have conversations with other people. Build up scenarios and plans with friends, families, or still a hypothetical partner. One day at a time. Bit by bit.
